


give up what you are (to become what you want to be)

by Shadow_Bringer



Series: They Change Nothing At All (And Everything All At Once) [2]
Category: Naruto, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:47:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28781484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow_Bringer/pseuds/Shadow_Bringer
Summary: Not many know how the universe works but maybe... maybe three people broken and hurt can help each other heal and learn and grow beyond what they were.
Series: They Change Nothing At All (And Everything All At Once) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1888354
Kudos: 33





	1. Uraraka Rin

When Rin was young, she had imaginary friends. Two of them, to be precise. At first, her parents tried to convince her they didn't exist. When that didn't work, they moved on to using her own imagination against her. She says her friends go out on missions? Then that’s why they haven’t visited her. One is always late? Then that’s why they didn’t show up for dinner. One lives alone because their parents are dead? Then they’re cleaning their house and that’s why they aren’t around. Of course, there are things that worry Rin’s parents. The stories she winds around her imaginary friends are violent and bloody and sad, complex and horrible. At times the stories she’s created give her nightmares and she wakes sobbing, crying for people or things her parents have never heard of. However, the doctor couldn’t do anything for her and just wrote it off as an overactive imagination and warped concepts that young Rin had learned from school or the tv or the internet. Her parents tried to protect her, tried to convince her the stories weren’t real or that they had happier endings than she thought.

Rin never believed them.

Rin never believed them because when she sleeps, she remembers. She remembers the war, the tang of blood in the air, the indescribable sound that accompanies a battle. She remembers killing her first enemy, losing her first patient. She remembers Konoha too, warm and soft and _home_ , even with the tense air looming from the war. She remembers abstract ideas of people; _teacherfastskyblue_ and _silverapathywolves_ and _sunlaughterlove_. There are others, too, like _warmloudfun_ and _leaderoldscary_. So many more that she can’t even put abstract ideas to, who she knows were there but can’t remember in the faintest.

She has always known that something was wrong, that her imaginary friends aren’t as imaginary as her parents think. She’s smart, not enough to figure it out, but enough to know something isn’t right. She is only one where she should be three. There’s no one for her when she looks. She is missing something. Something so important, so integral, that every breath without it burns and aches. It hurts. It hurts so, _so_ much and she doesn't want it to hurt anymore.

She doesn't want anyone to hurt ever again.

(When her quirk comes in, it's warm and green and it soothes aches and pains like they're nothing. Somehow she knows it can do so, so much more. She knows that someday she could look at broken bones and lost limbs and not bat an eye as she fixes it. She knows she needs to practice so when her friends get hurt, she asks if she can heal them. She hangs around the nurse until he lets her learn from him until he sees how adept she is even with so little practice and asks her one, vital question.

Do you want to be a hero?

No, she answers, I want to be a healer.)

As she grows older, Rin starts to understand how her not-memories are hurting her parents. They're worried for her but between their jobs and her younger sister, they simply don't have the time to assuage their worries. So, Rin stops mentioning _silverapathywolves_ and _sunlaughterlove_. She stops mentioning her dreams-that-might-be-memories. She puts them away, locks them up tight in a box only she will ever open, and she turns her full attention to her studies, her friends, and sweet little Ochako. Sometimes she’ll whisper stories to her sister in the dark of night. Nothing violent or scary but she’ll repeat the soft moments that return to Ochako like she’s trying to hold onto them. Sometimes she wonders why she wants to remember these not-memories at all but when she thinks about not knowing...

Something in her breaks.

Beyond her not-memories, she tries to be positive. She feels like things could be a lot worse, the violence of her dreams only cementing the idea, so she tries to look on the bright side. Her parents may be busy so often but they support her in anything that draws her attention, something she knows a lot of kids don't have. So she tries to make them proud. Ochako wants to be a hero, has been in love with them since she was old enough to know what a hero is. She makes a promise with her; Ochako will become the best hero she can and Rin will always be by her side, healing her and helping her when she needs it.

She gets into college on enough scholarships that she can pay her own way with a part-time job, letting her parents save up and extra money for Ochako. She helps when she can, takes care of the house so that her parents don't have to, helps raise Ochako when they're at work. It's stressful but the constant work keeps her occupied, keeps her from lingering on the blood and death of her not memories. Then, two years into her residency, the doctor she's interning under gets a strange patient. A boy, almost more scars than smooth skin, coming in for a shattered left arm (and when she says shattered, she means it, there's not a single bone in his arm untouched). She gets to take a swing at healing the damage before they try more mundane methods. The doctor she's interning under trusts her, has seen first hand how powerful her healing quirk really is. So she takes a breath and starts, healing in stages until she's sure the boy will retain full movement and control of his arms, exhaustion settling in her when she finally steps away. She's sent out to rest while the doctor double-checks her work. She freezes when she leaves the room, her breath catching and her not-memories crashing down around her.

"Kushina-nee?"

* * *

Seven years later, Ochako's class is attacked by villains. Those days, when her younger sister is home, Rin notices that she's quiet in some strange way. She takes as much time off as she can, sticking close to her sister to help her work through what was undoubtedly a traumatic event. What she doesn't expect is Ochako asking her about the stories she used to tell.

"Well... there were-" _sunlaughterlove, silverapathywolves_ "-two boys and a girl. They were a hero team, sort of. Why do you ask?"

"I think I met them," Ochako says. Rin laughs, amused at the idea. The stories aren't real (but Kushina-nee was, and Minato-sensei, so why not _sunlaughterlove_ and _silverapathywolves_?).

"Really?" Rin says teasingly. "Did they visit you in your dreams?" Ochako frowns, shaking her head.

"They were there, during the villain attack. Or, two of them were. I think... um, Kakashi and Obito?" Rin's breath chokes her, the glass in her fingers slipping to shatter against the floor. Her breath finally shudders out, bringing tears with it. She doubles over to lean against the counter next to her, her not-memories slotting perfectly into place around her.

"Neechan?" Ochako asks and Rin can hear the panic in her voice. "Oneechan?! I'm sorry, I-" Rin shakes her head, not trusting her voice to actually work, and twists to gather Ochako into her arms before they slide to the floor.

"Thank you," Rin chokes out, "thank you _so much_."


	2. Kinoshita Obito

There’s a lot Obito regrets. There’s a lot he thinks about and wishes he had only done things differently. Minato and Kushina hadn’t deserved his anger, Kakashi hadn’t deserved his hatred, and it was all over a girl that would have hated him for his actions. It was _stupid_ and _awful_ and he _hates_ himself for letting it go so far. It’s part of the reason he accepted death so readily, at the end. There was no way for him to make amends for all of his mistakes and part of him hadn’t seen the point in trying.

Then he had woken up once more and wish he hadn’t. There are so many others that deserve a second chance, a life in this peaceful world, so much more than him. Even most of the Akatsuki had simply been misled or misunderstood. He almost thinks this is his own personal hell, a sadistic punishment for daring to regret choices he had made of his own volition.

But his parents, his new ones, the ones he actually knows, love him and care for him. Moreso than everyone (mostly everyone) from his past life. He doesn’t deserve them. He really, really doesn’t and he has no way of explaining to them why without getting labelled insane and locked away. Not that that would be a bad thing but... he has some crazy idea that maybe- just maybe -he can begin to atone for his crimes. This world is so much less bloody and what little violence there is solved by police or heroes.

He... wants to be a hero. Maybe he won't be a good one but he wants to try. All he knows how to do is fight and kill and deceive but maybe he can learn, change. Maybe he can learn to protect. So, he works for it. Fights for it. Digs his fingers in and declares that he's not going to give up, not going to fall back into old habits filled with blood and death. He learns, as well, that his old world was wrong. So, so wrong.

Therapy helps, eventually. He thinks just being in this world helps, to be honest. Knowing and being aware of how broken his old world was while being able to witness and live in a world where things are so much better. It makes him sad because of what children had been trained into in his old world but so, so happy because now he knows how _special_ this world really is. It's not perfect, of course. Kids might not be brainwashed into worshipping the bloody, violent life of a shinobi but they _are_ brainwashed into worshipping the dangerous life of a hero. Of course, they get more training, here, and aren't thrown into the action quite so young.

He applies to a hero school when he's old enough. Not a popular one or big one- being around such large groups of people still sets him on edge, makes him buzz with the idea that he might have to fight his way out. Still, he applies. He learns. He figures out how to shift his fighting style from deadly to just dangerous, pulls from Tobi for his hero identity. He chooses Seven as his moniker, wanting to keep a piece of his old life with him even as he lets most of it go.

Or at least, he thought he let it go.

Until he hears of a team of heroes who take on everything together even if it's usually overkill. They bicker and fight and yell but they always work together. Nymph, Spirit, Nighthawk, Phoenix. Hashirama, Tobirama, Izuna... Madara. He's angry. Of course, he is. His time with Madara had been the worst time of his life. His therapist tells him to confront things that hurt him. Or to get help to deal with it. This, though, he needs to do alone. He _needs_ to because he _knows_... Madara had been in the same position he had been in. He just needs to try.

Just needs to make sure Madara really has left behind his anger from his previous life. So when he's given a month to be under the training of an actual hero, he doesn't hesitate to send his application to Madara's hero company. He doesn't include anything that will give the game away before they meet. He just includes enough that he'll catch Madara's attention. It's easy to do, after all, once you've spent so long in his presence.

His parents don't know why the coming month makes him so anxious but they support him. Promise him that he doesn't have to do this if he doesn't want to. Except, he has to do this. For closure, for the safety of this world. So he goes. He goes and he wraps his new life around him like a shield.

Hashirama is the one that greets him. Not surprising, if he’s being honest. The man doesn’t seem to recognize him, even as Obito asks quiet questions on the tour. It makes him wonder if maybe, just maybe, they don’t have their memories. He thinks that would be a cruel trick to play. Eventually, he’s led into a larger room where the other three are. Izuna isn’t paying attention, on some call, and both Tobirama and Madara are immersed in their paperwork. Hashirama drops him off at Madara’s desk and Obito can see him gearing up for some grand introduction. Obito doesn’t let him start, wanting this moment for himself.

”Madara,” he says, voice cold in the quiet of the room. The pen Madara is holding snaps, his head jerks up fast enough Obito thinks that man probably gave himself whiplash. An innocent first meeting between two killers willing to do anything for the people they loved.


	3. Suzuki Kakashi

Sometimes Kakashi feels distant from his life. It tastes ashy and bitter on his tongue. Like a bad joke. Everything just feels odd. Several clicks away from reality. He blames it on living on the streets, watching everyone live their lives like he doesn't exist, but deep down he knows it's something more than that. Something he can't explain. He ignores it as best he can, living his life unobtrusively. His stolen quirks playing at his fingertips, powerful and beautiful and dangerous. Well, he makes them dangerous. Dangerous and ever so useful. He earns himself a name in the underground despite his age.

Copycat.

It feels like home. He wears it proudly, pulls it around himself like a shroud. He relishes in the idea that everyone knows Copycat and yet Kakashi is invisible. A kid employed under a criminal more powerful than most could dream of. He entertains with the thought of people finally figuring it out, realizing Kakashi and Copycat are one in the same. Not that any of them will ever know. It's his secret and his alone.

(The only thing he can claim as his own, the only thing he can protect and have and can't be tainted. Copycat is _his_.)

Or, at least, that's what he thought. Until someone came looking for Copycat and grabbed Kakashi. Stole him away into a swirl of purple and glaring yellow. He landed in a bar, prepared for a fight, lightning crackling numbingly at his fingertips. He finds himself wholly unprepared for what's waiting for him. A child in the guise of a man, an offer, and a man in a screen so similar to himself it burns. He accepts a place in this so-called League of Villians only to know more of this 'Sensei', to figure out why the man sets his reality even more crooked. 

(It makes him think of things, of bandages and eyes and of hidden organizations. Nothing makes sense and Kakashi _hates it_.)

He crafts himself a persona to survive amongst the League, a mask literal and figurative. Its creation is meticulous, exact, contains all his viciousness and none of his morals. A perfect killing machine, a perfect soldier. He dons the name Wolf although it doesn't sit quite right. Something is wrong with it but something his wrong with all his reality so he ignores it, focuses on appeasing the child that calls himself the leader.

(When the mask closes over his face, everything hones down. His world stops spinning, closes in. Under the mask, everything is alive but him.)

Copycat and Kakashi step away, allow Wolf the reins. Whatever Wolf is, wherever he came from or was created from, he is perfectly at ease in the blood and dirt of this League. The darkness of it all matches Wolf in a way it doesn't Copycat or Kakashi.

(Maybe it's bad that he's compartmentalizing personas enough that they're different from him but he can't stop, can’t accept Wolf and Copycat into him, can’t let the blood on their hands become his.)

When the League ends up attacking a class full of kids, Kakashi frowns and bears it. Wolf doesn’t care either way. A mission given is a mission that must be completed. He palms the sword the League had provided, watching the children through his mask. His mission wasn’t them. He advances on Eraserhead, staying hidden in the crowd of low-level villains.

(One of the kids escapes to get reinforcements. Something in Kakashi loosens. He hopes the kid returns in time.)

His quirk stutters as he takes over the fight against Eraserhead. Vanishes before he can use the pro’s quirk against him. It doesn’t matter. His skill with a sword is more than enough to make up for the lack of a quirk.

Out of the corner of his eye he can see the air warp, twist and break, letting a boy perhaps his age through. He adjusts to see both of his opponent at once. The newcomer’s eyes swirls red and black and something in Kakashi breaks.

”...Kakashi?” He attacks the newcomer because he had taken precautions, no one should know his real name. No one still living at least.

”Please, Kakashi, please, it’s _me_ ,” The boy begs, defending himself admirably when he so clearly doesn’t want to fight.

(With every strike against the boy, Kakashi’s heart twists tighter. He reality swirls dangerously. This isn’t right. None of this is right.)

His attacks slip. The boy gets inside his guard. Wolf prepares for the worst, already twisting to take the boy down with him. He doesn’t expect the arms looping around him, dragging him into a hug. Wolf freezes, retreats back into Kakashi’s mind. Kakashi twitches, breath shuddering. His sword hits the ground with the ring of metal.

(Everything slots into place.)

Kakashi burrows into Obito, hiding his masked face in the older boy’s shoulder. He registers that he’s crying, distantly, but he can’t bring himself to care.

(A second chance with endless possibilities and he just reinvented Kakashi the friend killer. How fun.)


End file.
